year-end thoughts, and other things.

i cannot believe that 2011 is coming to an end. i don't often feel so sorry to see a year make it's way out, only to be replaced by yet another one, since i always have the same wonderment pass through my thoughts. always.

will next year be as good as this one was? better? or...worse?

i was joking with my dad tonight that we youngbergs like to worry about crap. not useful things, or logical things, but totally nonsensical things. you know, crap.

never fear: we are also pretty good at worrying about the rest too. we are nothing if not thorough. ;)

2011 was pretty dang good to us, after all. i wasn't all that excited about it at the beginning, as it truly tried our faith as individuals and as a couple. shay started the year having to choose between the new job he loved and was terribly excellent at, and continuing to choose to not work on sundays and do his best at keeping the sabbath day holy, which he is also terribly excellent at.

as a couple, and through prayer and counsel with each other and those who had influence over our lives, we decided that he would quit his job without promise of a new one and we would put all of our faith in the promises surrounding tithing and the lord's love for us. shay is, and probably will always be, much better at the faith thing than i am. i really like that about him though. :)

the spring semester turned out to be more than stressful. we struggled to balance our classes, and our relationship, and my job, and our callings, and life in general. i cried more than a few times and shay exercised the priesthood in our home as much as was needed. it made more of a difference than i probably will ever know, so i try to overstate my gratitude just in case. my husband's ability and willingness to worthily hold and use the priesthood is a blessing i don't have words to describe. as the semester got closer to ending, i broke down pretty regularly and wondered if maybe we had been lost in the mess of the universe. but again, that studly canadian was amazing and held the fort while i did my best to hold it together.

then, a week before the end of the semester, shay got a new job at a great company. and along with that job, a feeling of much needed peace settled in me and began to heal the stress fractures in my heart. my spirit began to feel a weak connection to heaven again, and i knew we'd be okay. we were really going to be okay.

as the months wore on, more and more changes happened. among those, we decided it was time for a new ward, new apartment, new start. we looked for and found an apartment where i felt at home, finally, for the first time since moving out. the apartment was built around the same time as the house i had grown up in, and much of the design was the same. i even arranged my kitchen just like my mom's and couldn't contain my overwhelming gratitude in the fact that i was finally able to relax in a place i felt like was my home. the first night in our new apartment, i slept better than i had slept the previous year and a half we had been married. it was so wonderful. and most of all, we felt like we had really been led to this place, which made all the difference.

we were blessed with much more direction in other areas as well. both of our jobs improved a lot and we were recognized for our efforts. we discussed many times how we really, truly liked where we were and what we were doing. we were both led in knowing what to do with school, and a few other investments we had been looking into. tender mercies flowed and the season of peace continued. though the down parts came, they weren't nearly the pits we had experienced before. we could feel the support we had previously needed so desperately. even as a few of my most treasured relationships changed and evolved through various circumstances, help was there and answers to many sincere prayers were given. i've really been blessed with the very best, most patient friends in the world. 

2011 will be a year i remember as the year we came out of the refiner's fire together, and as a bonded couple walked into the light of testimony and peace. i couldn't ask for a better theme for our second year of marriage.

2012, i hope you're ready for us petrones, 'cause we're ready for you. you've got a lot to live up to though. ;)

This is my message to you-u-u.

This song has been getting me through this week. And last week. And will probably do so for the next three weeks.

Sigh.


Sometimes maybe it's a good idea to push pause and remember that in the end, the good guys really do win. Semesters end, projects get either get finished or thrown out, the house gets clean, and things keep flowing.

Or as Robert Frost said:
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."

And I guess the rain does give you an excuse to gaze in awe at rainbows, after all. :)

Second star to the right, straight on 'til morning.

I really like being growed up.

I happen to quite enjoy driving a car. Staying up late. Kissing my husband. Wearing makeup that isn't pretend and doesn't have the options of blue, purple, and hot pink for eye shadow. Not worrying about who I'll play with at recess. Watching a movie, and THEN doing the dishes. Eating half a bag of Hershey's kisses just because I want to. And yes, I knew I'd feel sick. So what?

But sometimes...just sometimes, I miss the happy meal toys at McDonalds. Not getting motion sicknessy by swinging on a swing. Being fascinated by the time it takes a potato bug to cross the sidewalk. Having time to be fascinated by watching a potato bug cross the sidewalk. Reading a book I actually want to read. Watching Saturday morning cartoons and eating cereal that has marshmallows in it, without worrying about what it's going to do to my appetite for the rest of the day. 

I miss calling up my friends on a land line phone and asking them to "play." Thinking that call waiting and caller ID were soooo awesome. Having sleepovers and dress up parties. Shows on TGIF. Singing the opening songs to Pinky and the Brain and Fresh Prince. Playing Oregon Trail during free Fridays in computer class. Getting scared while reading Goosebumps. Taking a Beauty and the Beast lunch box to school. Totally crushing on Nick Carter from Back Street Boys and Jonathan Taylor Thomas from Home Improvement. Listening to the radio all day long just to hear that new song I loved, and recording it on my TAPE player so that later I could listen to it on my walkman. Being totally determined to find Waldo no matter where he was hiding. Squeeze its. Treasure trolls. Pogs and virtual pets. Playing MASH to find out if I really was going to marry my crush and have 8 kids, even if we did drive a shopping cart and live in a shack. 

And wishing for the days when I got to go to college, get married, have a job, have a car, have a credit card that wasn't actually my mom's old calling card...calling card!

I am feeling nostalgic. Could you tell? I blame Julie. Last night, she and I pulled out our old Sega Genesis. It was pure magic. We even had to blow on the game at one point to get it to work! I was in heaven.

It makes me wonder what I'll think 5, 10, 15 years from now. Will I feel the same way? Will I feel sorrow for all the time that I wanted to pass, so that I could get somewhere else? Or will I feel content that I enjoyed it as much as I could have, and didn't waste a moment by wishing for what wasn't only to miss the wonderful things that were? 

I always want to be that little girl, with bright eyes and bouncy steps, thinking that everyone in the world has a smile for me. Looking forward to the little things in life because they ended up being the biggest things after all. 

And never ceasing to be amazed at just how beautiful life really, truly is. 

Confessions of a closet nerd.

I have what you might call a weird very special little quirk. Random words that others might use as insults, I happen to use as terms of endearment. I don't quite remember when this started, or who infected me with this habit. It's caused, um, some...confusion perhaps? Yes, let's name it confusion. It's caused some confusion quite often every now and again between myself and close friends. Basically, if I love you, I might call you a "dork" or "geek" or "nerd." This happened once a couple years ago, the first time I allowed one of my good friends to become savvy to this.


Friend: "Something witty that Allison doesn't remember now but made her speechless and without a sufficient retort."

Allison: "...you're a nerd."

Friend: "Uh...thanks?"

Allison: "No no no! I mean it in a good way. Sort of. I just couldn't think of anything to say to that witty statement!"

Friend: "Well, if you think about it, we're all nerds in some way. Aren't we? And to be honest, nerds are in. Come on, everyone ends up working for nerds at some point. Take Bill Gates for example. Nerd to the max."

Allison: "Like I said...meant it in a good way." (smiles really big)


It's a veritable truth, my friends. Nerds are in. And they come in many shapes and sizes. A few more examples:


Steve Urkel: The Nerdy Nerd. Back when nerds like this was what made us all plop down in front of our televisions for an hour of back to back episodes of Family Matters, without fail, every Tuesday at 6:00. Just so we could hear, "Howdy-ho Winslowwwwws!!!"




Albert Einstein: The Knowledge Nerd. Also see: Complete Genius. Changed the world, redefined what it meant to be intelligent, and made awesome faces all at the same time. "The most important thing is to never stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing." Smart man!




Tony Stark: The Superhero/Weapon Nerd. You name it. He can build it. In a cave. With scraps.




Count von Count: The Numbers Nerd. Loved this guy. Don't know why, just loved him. :) "I vill now count de cookies. Von cookie. Two cookie. Three cookie..."




And last, Chuck Norris. The Fitness Infomercial/Kill-You-With-a-Flex-of-His-Chest-Muscles/Trumps Everything and Everyone Nerd. "If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble you win. Forever." Or, "There are no such things as tornadoes. Chuck Norris just doesn't like trailer parks." Or, "Chuck Norris doesn't punch a time clock. The time clock sees Chuck Norris coming, and punches itself in fear."



And now, the time has come. Yes, I too, am a nerd. About the following things.

1. Pokemon, the gameboy game. Last year I got sick during the spring semester of school. After all the studying was done and my library gone through with nothing to interest me in reading, I decided to pull out my old gameboy and play my old Pokemon game. The thing is, they're a story game which means either you pick up where you left off, or you start a new game and lose all your hard work. Solution: order a new version of the game off of Amazon with the accompanying manual. I was literally giddy to play it, which I did...for about two weeks.

2. The Justin Bieber song, "One Time." The acoustic version of course. Yes, I know that he's like 13 and has a song with Ludacris. I love this song regardless, and sing it through the house to Shay. Don't judge me...

3. Hemp bracelets. I did in fact make my own, for about four years. It went something like this: go to Icing or another jewelry store. Take mental note, in detail, of their designs. Make them for a fraction of the cost at home. Lose one after another to jealous sisters or the washing machine.

4. Reading. Now I know that this isn't necessarily a nerdy thing per se, but believe me, I make it nerdy. I cannot count the number of books I've read, nor could I ever remember even half the titles. Sci-fi, historical fiction, and fantasy are the favorites. When I moved, I had more boxes that contained books than boxes that contained normal possessions.

5. Romance. I kid you not, Shay might actually get romanceitis once I'm through with him...I'm determined to make our marriage one filled with cute surprises and super fun memories. Tonight I did this:





That is indeed our shower wall. Courtesy of Crayola Bath Crayons! So much fun and highly recommended!

What would life be without a bit of nerdiness.... :)

Hitting the pause button.

Sometimes I have found myself needing to take a deep breath through all these plans...like my life has gotten stuck on fast forward in anticipation for what is coming in less than two months and I have to make a conscious effort to stop, look around me, and actually see what is going on.

And sometimes there are days when it hits me all over again...

I'M GETTING MARRIED.

*squeeeeeaaaaaaaallllllll!*

One of these times occurred the other day when Shay and I were sifting through the 100+ engagement shots we took last Saturday in the hopes that we would find one, maybe two, possibly three that would pass my ever-so-rigorous-and-slightly-overly-critical-judgement and make it onto the official announcement. Surprisingly there were 20 or so that passed...some more than others...which is something I am truly grateful for as it's yet another thing that has been successfully crossed off our "to do" list. During this quest for the perfect picture, one of them caught my eye and made me stop completely. As I gazed at the picture in awe and noticed yet again the little token of love and affection that had been carefully placed on my finger with more sacrifice than I'm probably aware of, I was completely blindsided. These were my engagement pictures. There was my fiance, who would someday be my husband, the man who would lead and guide my children and I throughout the rest of our lives, my very very very best friend and the biggest blessing I have ever received.

And in 55 days, 13 hours, 46 minutes, and 10 seconds I get to officially keep him forever.

Needless to say, that puts a ginormous smile on my face. :)

I used to wonder who this man would be that I would someday fall forever in love with...what his name started with, what color his eyes were, whether or not he'd laugh at all my corny jokes, what kind of music he liked...and the list goes on. I never would have nor could have guessed what was in store for me, but I'm glad that was the case. I like that the surprise I got is the best one of all!

Here's a sneak peak at the pictures that made the cut:



The ducks behind us were quite amusing. :) Their flight south for the winter was apparently delayed and they were so starved that they literally followed us around the pond as we took the pictures, hoping that we had come instead to feed them. A couple had even lost a foot somehow but were still able to keep up with the others...it was pretty cool to see how they had adapted. :)



This "dock" was questionable...much less sturdy than I remember it being as a little kid. Then again, I never used to care about that anyway...as long as I could hang my homemade fishing pole off of it and catch gazillions of huge imaginary fish, it was the best place in the whole world.



I always wanted a picture like this, but never knew it until now... :)



He was trying to dip me. Without warning. And I was like, "Nuh-uh." Right after I stopped laughing. :)



Kissy-face! :) His poor ears are so red, we were both freezing! I probably shouldn't have procrastinated so much on getting these taken, Mother Nature didn't want to wait as long as we did. :P



I always wanted a picture like this too. Only I knew that one beforehand. And I rigged the shoot so I could get one. He wasn't being very cooperative for very long though...



...and this is where we ended up. Gosh I love him. :)



One of my favorites, hands down. :) I think we'll have cute blonde-haired blue-eyed little ones someday. Yep. :)



Another fave, which will probably be one that ends up on the announcement itself.



And this is how the adventure ended, as most everything should in my opinion. :) Sealed with a kiss!