year-end thoughts, and other things.

i cannot believe that 2011 is coming to an end. i don't often feel so sorry to see a year make it's way out, only to be replaced by yet another one, since i always have the same wonderment pass through my thoughts. always.

will next year be as good as this one was? better? or...worse?

i was joking with my dad tonight that we youngbergs like to worry about crap. not useful things, or logical things, but totally nonsensical things. you know, crap.

never fear: we are also pretty good at worrying about the rest too. we are nothing if not thorough. ;)

2011 was pretty dang good to us, after all. i wasn't all that excited about it at the beginning, as it truly tried our faith as individuals and as a couple. shay started the year having to choose between the new job he loved and was terribly excellent at, and continuing to choose to not work on sundays and do his best at keeping the sabbath day holy, which he is also terribly excellent at.

as a couple, and through prayer and counsel with each other and those who had influence over our lives, we decided that he would quit his job without promise of a new one and we would put all of our faith in the promises surrounding tithing and the lord's love for us. shay is, and probably will always be, much better at the faith thing than i am. i really like that about him though. :)

the spring semester turned out to be more than stressful. we struggled to balance our classes, and our relationship, and my job, and our callings, and life in general. i cried more than a few times and shay exercised the priesthood in our home as much as was needed. it made more of a difference than i probably will ever know, so i try to overstate my gratitude just in case. my husband's ability and willingness to worthily hold and use the priesthood is a blessing i don't have words to describe. as the semester got closer to ending, i broke down pretty regularly and wondered if maybe we had been lost in the mess of the universe. but again, that studly canadian was amazing and held the fort while i did my best to hold it together.

then, a week before the end of the semester, shay got a new job at a great company. and along with that job, a feeling of much needed peace settled in me and began to heal the stress fractures in my heart. my spirit began to feel a weak connection to heaven again, and i knew we'd be okay. we were really going to be okay.

as the months wore on, more and more changes happened. among those, we decided it was time for a new ward, new apartment, new start. we looked for and found an apartment where i felt at home, finally, for the first time since moving out. the apartment was built around the same time as the house i had grown up in, and much of the design was the same. i even arranged my kitchen just like my mom's and couldn't contain my overwhelming gratitude in the fact that i was finally able to relax in a place i felt like was my home. the first night in our new apartment, i slept better than i had slept the previous year and a half we had been married. it was so wonderful. and most of all, we felt like we had really been led to this place, which made all the difference.

we were blessed with much more direction in other areas as well. both of our jobs improved a lot and we were recognized for our efforts. we discussed many times how we really, truly liked where we were and what we were doing. we were both led in knowing what to do with school, and a few other investments we had been looking into. tender mercies flowed and the season of peace continued. though the down parts came, they weren't nearly the pits we had experienced before. we could feel the support we had previously needed so desperately. even as a few of my most treasured relationships changed and evolved through various circumstances, help was there and answers to many sincere prayers were given. i've really been blessed with the very best, most patient friends in the world. 

2011 will be a year i remember as the year we came out of the refiner's fire together, and as a bonded couple walked into the light of testimony and peace. i couldn't ask for a better theme for our second year of marriage.

2012, i hope you're ready for us petrones, 'cause we're ready for you. you've got a lot to live up to though. ;)

hello again.

alright alright alright.

so, a few people have been pretty vocal about my lack of postings lately (9 months?) and i confess it quite surprised me. i had no idea that people even read this thing? other than my dear, sweet mom (hi mom!) that is. and sometimes my hubby, who said that he reads it because he likes to know what i say about him on the internets (hi hubby!). it took me a bit to make the decision to revive it even still, on account of school eating my life away again in a week (sigh) and this summer being stupidly busy (i almost spelled busty...don't look too far into that) and basically, i really want to re-read harry potter for the second time this year instead of anything else (can't wait until october! pottermore!!!). but then i realized within myself: all these people saying i should post are probably just in cahoots with my conscience because this is pretty much the only way i journal anymore (i know, for shame!) and i really really really think that i should probably really be doing that all the time since i'm like a newlywed, and how often do you get to have the kinds of adventures/learning experiences i'm having anyway? plus, i really liked reading my mom's journal from when she and my dad were all lovey dovey and such (hi mom!). if she didn't know that i did that...well she does now! (this is fun) :)

so here's a snapshot of our lives over the past 9 months in 60 seconds (or longer if you're a slow reader, but don't worry...i don't judge ;)

*christmas was indeed awesome! i don't actually remember tons about it excepting that shay got a shotgun. i remember that because that thing sounds like death and looks like death and it scared me.

*we celebrated one year of being marriaged on january 22nd! yay for us! we bopped around town and went snowboarding, and i tasted the wonderfulness that is texas roadhouse for the first time.

*spring semester of school was a beast but i killed it anyway! shay and i took our first and probably last class together (humanities through the arts). i took a lot of notes and shay made a lot of jokes. we probably only passed because we're just an awesome team like that.

*summer started off with a bang when shay got a new job (whoooo!) and we decided we no longer liked our living establishment (no snakes for me this year!). so we looked around, and found the super de duper cutest apartment (pics coming later...after i get out of my creative funk and decorate). we also visited the red rocks in moab and went river rafting, and shay chased lizards while i tookereasy. then we bought bikes and discovered that it is still the funnest thing ever to ride down the middle of the street with your friends.

*my birthday was pretty cool, shay spoiled me bunches and we had a grand old time. then the fourth of july this year was pretty much my favorite ever. except that one time when i was really little and my dad let me help him light the fireworks for the first time (kay not really little, but really littler than i am now).

*shay's parents came to stay with us for a couple weeks and we had all sorts of fun together like park city where i went on the zip line and it FREAKED me out because i'm totally scared of heights but shay was all channeling aladdin and was like "do you trust me" and i'm like "yep" so then we zoomed over the ground at crazyfastmiles/hour and i was like "that was awesome" and shay was like "i told you" and i was like "whatever i'll race you back to the top sucker" and then we hugged and it was fun.

*we sold my little black prizm (tear!) to a kid going to college and bought a black honda del sol instead (oooooo!). i love this little car but shay loves it more. he's pretty much over the moon about it. that's okay though, because i think it's pretty dang sweet too! only sometimes when we're driving people want to race us all the time (hahaaaa...that made only just enough sense). but my little black prizm will forever be the capsule to so many memories during the craziest time of my life, and was a much better first car than i gave it credit for.

*my littlest sister moved away to logan for school, two amazing friends had babies (cutest little offspring ever!), i took a cake decorating class with kami (hi kami!) and i'm pretty much a master by now, we went camping for the first time and i also went to a spa for the first time (but definitely not last time!) and many more things have happened reminding me that life just continues to move forward at a blinding pace, and i love it more every day.

that's all she wrote for now folks! until next time, in the words of my ever wise and profound canadian: don't do drugs.

You know, deck them halls and all that stuff?

Christmas time is HERE.


That is nuts! Nuts, I tell you!!!

Chestnuts roooasting on an open firrrre... (Imagine Nat King Cole's voice, please. Instead of yours. Or mine.)

(Seriously, it makes for a much nicer reading experience.)

(Promise!)

Speaking of Mr. Cole, he's got a leading role in many of my most prominent childhood Christmas memories. During the week of transition between Thanksgiving and Christmas, my mom would start playing his songs in the mornings and evenings while we went about our business. Vince Guaraldi, Andy Williams, Manheim Steamroller, and other classics also serenaded us as we eased ourselves into the final part of each year. Yes indeed, I grew up on the good stuff. :)

We're creatures of habit, my family and I. We find our groove, and we just...keep on grooving. The same decorations lit up our house every year. We always had a fresh tree, with the same red and gold balls. We watched the same holiday movies - Charlie Brown Christmas, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Santa Claus is Coming to Town, and Frosty the Snowman. We always got to open one gift from under the tree, one pair of new pajamas, and a new book on Christmas Eve.

And on Christmas morning, Julie was always usually the first one to pop out of bed and look at what everyone got.

And you know what? We loved it. We loved our traditions, from the three wise men searching for the babe across our entertainment center, to the handwritten "thank you for the cookies" card from Santa on Christmas morning.

And you know what else?

I miss all of that.

So on account of being terribly pathetic and whining about how I'm all "married" and stuff this year -

Fact: Married people simply cannot go about their little houses quoting random lines from Linus and Charlie Brown when their partners-in-marriage have absolutely no idea what they're talking about. It gets a lot embarrassing in not a lot of time, when there's just the two of you.

- I decided to just be super duper ooper mooper Christmassy and get all that whining crap right out of my system.

Because how are you supposed to go around being all holly and jolly and joyful and whatever with whining crap in your system, I ask you?

(You're not.)

(And for the record, I adore beyond words the fact that I am married. I'm just, you know, whining.)

I submit the following as evidence of my change o'heart:

It's a gingerbread train!!!! Yay!!!! In like, a cute little woodland setting!

The engine, with a festive wreath. And a nice big headlight to guide the way through the snowy nights! :)

The coal and lumber cars, with pretty convincing coal and lumber.

My snowman! Amidst the rocks and trees and bushes.

The caboose, with the stash of gold ready to be dropped off at the bank in the next town.

This adventure was incredibly entertaining! I had no idea it would be so much fun. Maybe coming up with your own traditions isn't that bad after all? :)

I still fully plan on quoting Charlie Brown. I mean, how can you not?

Second star to the right, straight on 'til morning.

I really like being growed up.

I happen to quite enjoy driving a car. Staying up late. Kissing my husband. Wearing makeup that isn't pretend and doesn't have the options of blue, purple, and hot pink for eye shadow. Not worrying about who I'll play with at recess. Watching a movie, and THEN doing the dishes. Eating half a bag of Hershey's kisses just because I want to. And yes, I knew I'd feel sick. So what?

But sometimes...just sometimes, I miss the happy meal toys at McDonalds. Not getting motion sicknessy by swinging on a swing. Being fascinated by the time it takes a potato bug to cross the sidewalk. Having time to be fascinated by watching a potato bug cross the sidewalk. Reading a book I actually want to read. Watching Saturday morning cartoons and eating cereal that has marshmallows in it, without worrying about what it's going to do to my appetite for the rest of the day. 

I miss calling up my friends on a land line phone and asking them to "play." Thinking that call waiting and caller ID were soooo awesome. Having sleepovers and dress up parties. Shows on TGIF. Singing the opening songs to Pinky and the Brain and Fresh Prince. Playing Oregon Trail during free Fridays in computer class. Getting scared while reading Goosebumps. Taking a Beauty and the Beast lunch box to school. Totally crushing on Nick Carter from Back Street Boys and Jonathan Taylor Thomas from Home Improvement. Listening to the radio all day long just to hear that new song I loved, and recording it on my TAPE player so that later I could listen to it on my walkman. Being totally determined to find Waldo no matter where he was hiding. Squeeze its. Treasure trolls. Pogs and virtual pets. Playing MASH to find out if I really was going to marry my crush and have 8 kids, even if we did drive a shopping cart and live in a shack. 

And wishing for the days when I got to go to college, get married, have a job, have a car, have a credit card that wasn't actually my mom's old calling card...calling card!

I am feeling nostalgic. Could you tell? I blame Julie. Last night, she and I pulled out our old Sega Genesis. It was pure magic. We even had to blow on the game at one point to get it to work! I was in heaven.

It makes me wonder what I'll think 5, 10, 15 years from now. Will I feel the same way? Will I feel sorrow for all the time that I wanted to pass, so that I could get somewhere else? Or will I feel content that I enjoyed it as much as I could have, and didn't waste a moment by wishing for what wasn't only to miss the wonderful things that were? 

I always want to be that little girl, with bright eyes and bouncy steps, thinking that everyone in the world has a smile for me. Looking forward to the little things in life because they ended up being the biggest things after all. 

And never ceasing to be amazed at just how beautiful life really, truly is. 

One of those moods...bahaha!

How did you meet?
We met in March of 2009, though the story started long before either of us were aware of it. Shay comes from a town outside of Toronto, Ontario called Cambridge and served in the Wisconsin Milwaukee mission. About a year into it he trained a young American Forker named Tyce Henderson...who lived down the street from me pre-mission (though I didn't even know it). Shay and Tyce became super good friends and he stopped by Tyce's house a couple times on road trips through the states to pick up packages, etc. so he could take them back to Tyce on his way home to Ontario. Shay ultimately checked out the schools here to see if he could find something to his liking, and crazily enough, UVU made the cut. He packed up his car, took $1000.00 and two passports and left home. He stayed at Tyce's parent's house for a couple weeks until he could get settled in Provo. That's where I come in: Shay came to my singles' ward a few times during that period and became good friends with my sister, my ward friends, and even a group of my friends in Orem. He was everywhere all of the sudden and all by what seemed to be coincidence. It took us a few months and many more adventures, but soon we were inseparable. :)


What's a funny dating memory?
Our first date was funny and tragic all at the same time...he invited me to his house to make cakes for his Canada Day party (July 1st, celebrating Canada's "independence"). Afterwards we went to Trafalga to play miniature golf with friends, during which he thought he'd be funny and poke me as I tried to putt. I started swatting his hand away without looking and missed one time...welllll, missed his hand anyway. I hit him somewhere else with my club that caused him to buckle over and collapse on the nearest bench. I was so embarrassed and we were both laughing even though I felt horrible and he was in pain. We tried to hide it and act like nothing happened, but Mandi yelled out, "What happened? Did you hit him in the crotch?" At that point I lowered the daisies onto the grave of our first - and what I thought would be our last - date. Guess I underestimated him a bit. :)


What was your first kiss like?
Basically...it was the most perfect first kiss ever. :) And I truly mean that. You know how first kisses are always so awkward? I had always been kissed for the first time on the doorstep, and it never ever went well. Somehow Shay got the timing exactly right. We planned an outdoor movie at our friend Scott's house in his backyard, and Shay brought over his HUGE lovesac for us to cuddle in. We had been doing this nuzzling thing for a few days where we'd never really quite kiss, but I could tell it was on his mind big time. :) I could also tell he was scared, so this time I just held very still during the movie when he started the nuzzle move, and what do you know. It worked. :)


How did you fall in love?
That's a hard one to answer, and I bet we'd both have a different one...hmmm. For me, stubbornly...he basically held my hand (both figuratively and literally) the whole way. I even remember him reminding me very subtly that this was a good thing, it wasn't killing me, so why should I be so scared? He was always very patient with me. He finally told me he loved me one night after about three weeks of dating, and I responded after a long pause, "Really? Are you...sure?" (Doh!!! Score one for team Allison!) To his eternal credit he didn't run right then and there. I think that was one of the things that made me love him the most. He answered, "Yeah...I don't really know what else to call it." Then he told me I didn't have to say it back if I wasn't ready, he just needed me to know. I heard the Colbie Caillat song the next day called "Fallin' for You" for the first time, and that did it. I told him two days later that I loved him too. And I shook the whole way through those three words. :)


What's your favorite thing about each other?
I'll have to guess for him...I think he loves that I love him. It's as simple as that. I think he loves the way that I try to take care of him and the way that we communicate about everything. I think he loves that I love the gospel and that I support him as a priesthood holder. And he likes my eyes and my giggle. :) I love that he is and has always been my best friend. That we can go from a serious conversation to a tickle fight to determine who gets the pirate ship (couch) all in one night. That I can tell him everything and that he not only wants to hear it, he remembers. That he always makes sure that we pray before saying goodnight. That his eyes remind me of California. And that he somehow makes me forget everything I'm stressed about with the most perfect hugs in the world.


What would be your theme song?
Hahaha...he'd say "Knock You Down" by Keri Hilson, or "Super Human" by Chris Brown. I say it's either "Easier to Be" by Lifehouse, "When You Come Back Down" by Nickel Creek, or "Then" by Brad Paisley.


How are you two most different?
I stress out, he's laid back. I read, he dances. I doubt, he trusts. I sing, he pranks. He drives safely, I drive fast. :)