pregnancy: act 2

by the second trimester of pregnancy, i was feeling much more accustomed to one thing: i had no idea what to expect anymore, and it looked like that was going to be the norm until the end. so i hung on tight and tried to enjoy the ride as much as i could. however, my body didn't seem to like the idea of this whole baking a baby thing, and i was in either the doctor's office or the hospital for one thing or another every few weeks until the end. we experienced blood clots, inability to breathe well, kidney problems, major swelling, hands going numb/burning, eyesight deteriorating, borderline gestational diabetes (that orange drink is GROSS!), anemia, extreme fatigue, and of course, wanting to eat everything.

but honestly, every time we heard our little baby's heartbeat and knew he was doing well, i considered it all to be a very, very small price to pay for such a gigantic miracle and blessing.

the morning of our 3rd anniversary we were able to go and find out whether our little bean was going to be blue or pink. we had done an early scan a month before, but we definitely wanted to be sure! we had both had a feeling it would be a boy (though i was hoping for a girl, the thought of having a boy scared me!) and sure enough...we were team blue!!! i started praying really hard that i would know what to do with him when he came...and most of all, that he would love me. :)

taken outside the hospital gift shop after we saw baby!

finally, i felt like we could move forward in our plans for our little one. we decided on a name pretty quickly, and tested it out for a few months. we purchased everything from bottles to blankets to burp cloths, and every time i folded a new teeny, tiny onesie and put it away into his drawers, i prayed again that this little boy would love his momma. 

2nd trimester, about 24 weeks

in february we were given the opportunity to move into an upstairs apartment, which i had been hoping for since we got married 3 years previously. i was especially worried about bringing a little baby home to a place that had such temperamental temperatures and such a huge lack of natural light. shay moved us pretty much by himself since i couldn't carry anything or clean, and my family came and helped out a lot as well. emily also informed us that she was going on a mission...and i was heartbroken. i never imagined that my littlest sis wouldn't be there for the birth of our baby. but in my heart, i also knew she had been inspired to go, so i did my very best to be happy for her.

about this time, as i pondered over and over on my little son, i discovered a song by brad paisley called "anything like me". it was one rainy and cold saturday afternoon, and i was trying to get the baby to move so i could do kick counts. as i listened to this song my heart swelled with love for the little boy inside me and, as it happened a lot in those days, i teared up over it. the baby suddenly started moving all over and i just lost it. i was so overcome by love, excitement, and joy over this little one that i couldn't believe my heart wasn't bursting open.